Poem:Not Again

I think of you when my eyelids flicker against the sunlight,
A brief flash, a memory of imagined dreams that tease
My soul with a cautious longing for your hand in mine

I think of you when nighttime consumes the sidewalks and
The thin cracks expand into caverns that must be avoided
For the safekeeping of my beating heart.

I think of you when the forks clatter against dishes and
Waiters buss them away, stealing the leftovers of my meal,
Cleaning the mess that I try not to create.

Escape my thoughts,
Runaway from my senses,
For I do not want you to become absorbed by my mind,
To become a part of me as so many others have
In broken-hearts passed

Poem: Why Does it Matter

If I break your heart tonight,
Hold onto its pieces until
I can bring them back together,
A shattered replica of the past,
A reminder that things will not last
That things will not be the same
As they are now.

What is the meaning of this all,
Of the world, of reality
If it is but a fallacy,
A perception of what could never be?

Why does it matter if I break your heart
Or if you break mine
Or if we get lost in the throws of time
Or if we end it all tonight?

Why does it matter if we live or die
If we carry on again to beg
For restitution
To speak to a god
That is not there
That can do no good
To heal our lost minds?

why does it matter if I breathe or cry
Tell the truth or suffocate
On all the lies
That I tell to last one more night.

Poem: Into Music

As I fade into the music,
As I drift into the beat,
I lose my soul to a rhythm
That pounds the sounds of my mind
And lends my heart quiet.

I lose my soul to a rhythm
That saves my breath and
Allows me to breathe at ease,
With the tugging of desperation
Relinquished.

I lose my soul to a rhythm
That closes my eyes
And drifts me into a state of
omnihuman,
A state of being beyond myself.

A state of not quite there,
But full immersed in the beat.

A state of almost alive,
Where the world is almost sweet.

As I fade into music,
I become free.

Poem: I miss you

I miss that look in your eyes
That told me that my world was safe,
That the plans for the future
Would remain unchanged.

I miss your hands,
The way they carressed away reality,
An elixir given to stave away
The banality of living.

I miss your lips,
The way their touch would stop
My heart and head and would
Save my mind from thinking,

I miss the way your body
Would surround me when I panicked,
When the world became impossible,
When you would ensure that I was okay
And that the world was safe and worth every day.

I miss you.
Come home.

Poem: you died in my arms

I had a dream that you died in my arms.

I had a dream that you died in my arms
And as the soul drifted from your lips
It collided with the sky
Whitening the night with wisps of remembrance

I had a dream that you died in my arms
And as my chest tore open
And I flooded the ground
Your arms held me tight

As you died in my arms,
Your arms held me tight.

Poem: Memories

I see life through a filter
Of hazy memories and forgotten smiles,
Sharp pains and lost wiles,

Wherein every memory I have with you
Shapes my current reality,
Giving into the illusion of existence,

For what are our memories but imprints of the past,
Waning ideals that never last
And a soft heart ready to crash under the
Growing weight of nostalgia

Poem: Untethered

The desire for physical contact is uncanny;
An anvil pressed against my skin,
Waiting to be lifted by the touch
Of another human hand,
Fingertips graced with warmth,
Filled with felicity and touched
With emotion

I feel untethered,
Flying from the earth,
A separate being from my body,
Unattached, unaccounted for,
Lost without the hug that ties me back to reality,
Without the soft kiss on the cheek that leads me back to the
Definition of what it means to be human.

For what is my humanity if not wasted
Without another hand in mine,
Holding me still in time.