Memories recorded by the mind loop around,
Longing for the true flutter of the heart when a hug lingers,
Fingers peeling away slowly drifting over the small of your back,
Glancing shyly in your eyes.
But wait– This description, this depiction is incomplete.
As it shifts through retelling your eyes fade from blue to brown
the touch hovers one second less
and the flutters fade.
I cannot feel the moment I fell in love with you.
I can only feel nostalgia for an evanescent thought that will one day too drift away.
I think of you when my eyelids flicker against the sunlight,
A brief flash, a memory of imagined dreams that tease
My soul with a cautious longing for your hand in mine
I think of you when nighttime consumes the sidewalks and
The thin cracks expand into caverns that must be avoided
For the safekeeping of my beating heart.
I think of you when the forks clatter against dishes and
Waiters buss them away, stealing the leftovers of my meal,
Cleaning the mess that I try not to create.
Escape my thoughts,
Runaway from my senses,
For I do not want you to become absorbed by my mind,
To become a part of me as so many others have
In broken-hearts passed
Your heart rests in mine,
A peace of the storm,
With the world all around me remaining unformed,
I want to hold your existence,
To push my hands through your hair,
To feel the breathe from your lips just to know that I’m there
I need that look in your eyes,
The smile from your soul,
To remind me that with or without you I am whole,
You stained my sheets with your comfort,
That protects from the darkest of dreams,
But eventually, my sheets must be cleaned.
Come back to me once more,
Come lay your head in my lap,
Let me feel as though this absence has just been a nap,
Because you keep me level,
Because you keep me sane,
And because you keep away of all the pain,
You are my guardian through the night,
Guardian through the day,
Guardian of my soul who keeps the world un-grey
I felt the words simmer on my tongue,
A new guitar just strum,
As the echo fades away and
I strive to fill the space with
Something I turn to you and smile.
The days fall fast with you at heart,
With you with me and not apart,
The loss of feeling,
The gain of love,
The belief that something up above
Must harbor a debt to me for
Bringing me such a person.
I love you.
As the words trickle off my tongue,
A melody of syllables,
I struggle to compose a symphony
Worthy of you.
The words dance to the rhythm that I set,
And yet, time and again, off-beat,
Two left feet,
I clunk through the feelings I want to express
In a language composed of
Quiet hums and eye flutters,
Grabbed hands and awkward stutters
And blooming blushes followed by a quiet night
Of Chinese food and laughs.
I love you is insufficient,
Like Beethoven’s fifth,
A replayed symphony when
I want to compose our own.
So through quartets and thirds,
I run away with my emotions
In describing the oceans
Of memories I want with you,
A large request that I bequest
With a quiet hope that
Time will write our own melody.
I can still feel the lingering touch of your lips
Tracing the lines of my face
In a race to discover the unknown
Bounty of infinite emotion in
The fireflies flash in my memories
Of hazy afternoons and broken necklaces
Scattered through the days
Of losing our minds
To each other’s heart
And the correlation of you and the summer sun
Became inextricable in my soul,
So that when the sun kissed my skin,
It was your brush I felt,
Your love I knew
And your hand I held
Against the waging war of
Fireflies and star-filled skies
Stripping summer from our grip
Staring at the curvature of the peddles on the flower you just gave me,
I can’t help to think that I have been sold for the price of a rose,
My heart betraying me to the auction teller,
Shouting out what bid will take me
And I feel for the lowest one because
Of the hope in your eyes
And the love on your lips
And the care in your smile.
So maybe I fell for the highest bidder,
The one who can pay me in laughter and giggles,
The one who can truly call himself the winner
Of my heart, my soul and my mind.
Because money can only buy a grin,
Not a smile that begins from the welling emotion
Of unbridled happiness.