I’ve been away at college for approximately two months, and it’s around the time when my relationship begins to evolve from exclusive to open. We had agreed months ago that an open relationship would be most conducive to us lasting, to us staying together, as we don’t know when next we will be together daily, and I suppose that begs the question: is it really?
Last night, I discovered that my significant other has a crush on a girl at our old high school, something I had never seen coming, something I hadn’t expected, something I hadn’t prepared myself to handle, for while we had discussed the concept of an open relationship, I never actually considered that that was a valid possibility, that at our school, he would find someone else. I was wrong.
Yet, there comes a point in which I must question, if he starts seeing this girl, if I’m four hundred miles away, is our relationship truly a relationship? If we still love each other, is that enough? I think it might be.
I know from experience that it is possible to be in love with someone and like someone else, but I’ve never acted on that liking, never really considered it a valid option. So, I must ask, will this drive us apart? Only time will tell.
A friend of mine, who I called last night in tears, argued that an open relationship is not a relationship, but rather a title… and I’m not sure if I agree or not. I’m not sure if I can handle this open relationship. I’m not sure I have the strength, but I’m also sure that he still loves me, and that at the end of the day, he would choose me. And… for the time being, that’s enough.
Open relationships can only survive through the honesty of the participants and the strength of them. Lord knows, this hurts. It hurts more than I could’ve imagine, but would it hurt more to completely lose him? I’m entirely sure it would.
I was his first everything… first kiss, first relationship, first love, first sexual experience. So, there comes a point in which I must accept the fact that in order for us to grow… I think he needs to, in a way, experience other people. Perhaps we both do. We’re young, we’re 18 and 17 respectively with grown-up problems that I have yet figured out how to handle. But, I think, with talking, with openness to eachother, we can get through this.
But yet, I furthermore have to ask, is it fair to the third person involved? I don’t think it is, and that’s something for him and I to discuss in the upcoming weekend.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Updates will follow.