I love him, more than anything, more than anyone. If I could not live in our current reality, I wouldn’t go to college, I wouldn’t leave, and the stress of transitioning to a long distance relationship wouldn’t crumple my heart every time I start to think about not seeing him for months at a time…
So, will I ever stop loving him? Will there be a time, sometime in the future, when talking to him doesn’t make me not only happy, but complete? He is, in essence, my other half, the one who can stifle my tears, read my lies, and advise me on every corner of my life. He’s mine, and I never imagined that I could ever fall so hard for someone when I was 17, now 18, years old.
Studies have shown that your first love changes your perception of others, that the beauty of discovering this new world can never be surpassed. I just wish age, location, timing, didn’t have to drag us apart.
I’m currently, or will be, rather, a freshmen in college, and though I’ve never set foot on my school’s campus, I’m already considering transferring… which, I realize makes me sound crazy, but I suppose I am crazy, crazy for him, crazy in love, and willing to do anything to make it work. I’d give up everything for him.
So I guess this is love, and I sure as hell hope that, even though it’s a sinusoid, with the lows as low as the highs are high, we make it through this next year of separation.
I plan on revisiting this topic in a couple of months, when the separation has set in, and new people are around me. Until then.