Do You Ever Stop Loving Your First Love?

I love him, more than anything, more than anyone. If I could not live in our current reality, I wouldn’t go to college, I wouldn’t leave, and the stress of transitioning to a long distance relationship wouldn’t crumple my heart every time I start to think about not seeing him for months at a time… 
So, will I ever stop loving him? Will there be a time, sometime in the future, when talking to him doesn’t make me not only happy, but complete? He is, in essence, my other half, the one who can stifle my tears, read my lies, and advise me on every corner of my life. He’s mine, and I never imagined that I could ever fall so hard for someone when I was 17, now 18, years old. 
Studies have shown that your first love changes your perception of others, that the beauty of discovering this new world can never be surpassed. I just wish age, location, timing, didn’t have to drag us apart. 
I’m currently, or will be, rather, a freshmen in college, and though I’ve never set foot on my school’s campus, I’m already considering transferring… which, I realize makes me sound crazy, but I suppose I am crazy, crazy for him, crazy in love, and willing to do anything to make it work. I’d give up everything for him. 
So I guess this is love, and I sure as hell hope that, even though it’s a sinusoid, with the lows as low as the highs are high, we make it through this next year of separation. 

I plan on revisiting this topic in a couple of months, when the separation has set in, and new people are around me. Until then. 

7 thoughts on “Do You Ever Stop Loving Your First Love?

  1. How are you holding up now? I definitely want to look into how our first love can change our perceptions of loves that follow it based on this post. It’s wonderful that you have this relationship though, and I think no matter what happens, you can come back to Dr. Seuss’s quote “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Not like I’m foreshadowing a negative outcome, but when it comes to relationships in general, it’s great to keep in perspective how they’ve changed you and made you stronger – even when they’re over.

    Once again it’s great that you’re so in love! I did not intend for this comment to be somewhat depressing…

    1. Hey Thomas,
      In terms of our relationship, I can honestly say I’ve never loved him more. I go home every three weeks or so, which is pricey, but worth it. I have enough savings to make it work- amtrak is convenient.
      There’s no doubt that all of this has had it’s rocky moments- we’re going through one right now- but I think that in the end, all the pain makes the love stronger because you’ve been through that much more together.
      I think if the distance didn’t hurt, then I’d have a much bigger problem- we more than likely would’ve fallen out of love.
      I’m lucky to have found him so young, to have found love so young, but I suppose that does come with the downfalls of all love- a chance that it ends. But we’ve grown up together, and there are more than enough amazing memories to make me smile.
      Thanks for your comment and your well wishes!

    1. That’s comforting, and frightening in a way, as I know that he most certainly wasn’t a bad choice. We’re no where near the point of a break up, but I can’t help but question my own future: if we do break up, will I ever find something even close to what I have now?
      I’m not so sure, but then again, we’re never particularly sure about anything in the future, so that doesn’t really mean much. Thanks for the comment!

      1. First love is a part of a life. First kiss and the first person we can be our self with. Stay with us. My first love went to college and is a nurse. I decide to be a Soldier. Sometime hope and dreams can separate two people. If we are lucky and stay friends. The road can lead two people to the same path again.

      2. That’s essentially what I’m counting on. My boyfriend’s currently a senior in high school, so there’s still hope he could end up in DC or somewhere relatively near me, but I’m sure we’ll always be friends. Or I hope that we always will, I suppose. We’ll see only in time.

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