I used to believe that such a concept was impossible, that puppy love intoxicates the couples who roam around campus, but recently, I’ve begun questioning my presupposed viewpoint, fed by the image society hands us, that we, as teenagers, are young, immature and unable to separate our hearts from our hormones. In a majority of situations, with most teenagers, I believe this concept applies. I’ve seen too many people momentarily crushed by relationships that lasted a month, but there’s been a growing trend in my own boarding school: long-term relationships.
And with this idea, the concept of love becomes trickier. For, many of us are wary to commit to such powerful three words, or perhaps that’s just me and my boyfriend. But eating breakfast, lunch and dinner with your significant other leaves us emulating college life with significantly more rules on male-female interaction, and in college, can’t people be in love? And if this is similar to college, which it most certainly is, can’t we be in love?
Living away from home for four years has granted me the maturity to say that perhaps we can be, and perhaps we can’t be, the maturity to acknowledge that whatever I feel right now is relative to me. I will never understand the strength of my feelings in the future when memories are faded and much less real than in the moment when I would do anything to keep him in my room, to run away and spend the rest of my life with him. And that’s scary. That’s absolutely the most frightening thing I’ve heard. Because, if we say I love you, then, effectively, aren’t we admitting that there’s a chance that we could stay together for the rest of our lives (Idealistically)? Aren’t we saying that we value that person more than ourselves? Aren’t we pushing ourselves beyond our level of familiarity? As the answers remain yes, the idea of love becomes more weighted.
My boyfriend and I are in a unique position. Both of us have been extremely depressed. Both of us can be a little unstable. Both of us are very emotionally mature. But both of us have liked the other for the past two years, unaware of the reciprocity of feelings. Essentially, Brian gave up last summer, finally forcing his mind to believe that I didn’t matter. And then, three months later, I spring up with the information that I still like him and always have. And here we are.
Our moods have always been pretty interconnected, and we’ve felt this way for such a long time… it’s just now, the more time we spend together, the more amplified it becomes. Will we ever even out? Is it love?
I would spend the rest of my life with him if I had to decide this instant. I know that I’m young, very young, and I have the rest of my life to make binding decisions, but what if I want to make that decision, and take the plunge, and say that I will try to stay with you for as long as it takes because I love you? I’ve been fighting the urge recently just to whisper it to him as he holds me. I love him. I love you. (As if he’ll actually find this). But I’ll wait for him to say that first.
I think love can exist between teenagers, then. For, I, myself, have seem to fallen in love. It’s simply that the teenagers must be mature enough to grasp the emotion, strong enough to handle the consequences, and prudent enough to use the words sparingly, to save their meaning. And that’s that.