Why I Don’t Trust People

Is it just me, but don’t you just love when people spill your secrets? when you become an object of gossip? when your confidence is betrayed?

I consider myself a good judge of character- usually able to accurately tell whether or not I can trust someone- and I’ve never been wrong to tell a friend a secret, never been truly betrayed… until today.

There is a freshman that I know, Brian, who likes me, or liked me,  whom I trusted. I trusted this kid like I would my best friend, because I just felt like I could. I talked to him for long hours into the night, lasting till one am, two am, or even three. I’m a person such that when you hit one am, I say things I mean, but don’t necessarily mean to say. This can create some very amusing conversations, but also some very revealing ones. During one said conversation I told Brian the story of what happened with Ryan- a story only Roomie, and my best friend Jessica know. I don’t know how the subject came up, or why it did, but it did and I held him in the strictest confidence, convinced that he wouldn’t tell a soul; oh how very wrong I was.

Maybe it was because I was extremely flirty with him, or that it seemed like I liked him when it turns out in reality he’s only just a friend, but for some reason or another Brian talked; he did more than talk. He typed.

On the new facebook polling feature, he made a poll which said, should xmakemedreamx (actually my name) date Brian (insert last name)?
The options were as follows:
No, She should date Ryan

When I saw that I wanted to punch him, kick him, curse him out, and I don’t get mad- in fact, it takes a whole hell of a lot to get me pissed off, while right now I’m still fuming about it. Ryan isn’t the type of person you play childish, immature middle school games with; he isn’t the type of person that would take lightly to this, and frankly, I’m not either. Sometimes I can be immature, but I never ever betray my friends’ confidence. I never tell a secret I’m sworn not to; granted, if you don’t swear me to something I might tell Roomie or Jess, but besides that, no one. And here’s Brian blasting whom I like around the internet, around facebook where the world can see. Thanks bud, I appreciate it.

Maybe it’s just naivety, maybe it’s just an unrelenting hope in humanity, but for some reason I wish that others would do the same and not bitchily bash others.

Even though I hold this hope, I still trust very few; I still tell very few people the truth, and people wonder why? Brian is a Class A example.


5 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Trust People

  1. I really feel for you. Having your confidence betrayed is very hurtful. I’m sad to say that it has happened to me several times. That sick, shocked feeling you get when you first realise is the hardest part, that moment when you are faced with the proof. I have reviewed those relationships many times over the years and I still don’t understand why they acted like they did. I’m afraid that I now find it very hard to trust people. But this is not a fun way to live and it’s hard to go back to being a trusting person (this is something I am working on) so don’t give up your ‘unrelenting hope in humanity’ just yet. 🙂

    1. You’re overwhelmed with rage and hurt, but you care for the person too truly flip on them… I could’ve done much worse than just walking away from him like I did. Thanks for the support though (: Most people experience it, and it’s funny, it happened to two of my closest friends today as well. Guess things are just off kilter today..

  2. This is random, but I was reading this and as soon as I saw “No,She should date Ryan.” I basically screamed that no one should date Ryan. I hate that name. Oh so so so so so much

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