I have trust issues.
We all have a minor form of trust issues, but mine run deep to the core spurning from a childhood betrayal that scarred me for life.
I had a best friend named Mia from the time I was three until sixth grade: now what happened in sixth grade? She started completely ignoring me as a friend, not wanting to hang out, and changing to fit in with the ‘more popular’ crowd, or however ‘popular’ one can be at that age. The true turning point of our friendship was one day at lunch, when she was fiddling with her ‘best’ necklace to which i, and our third friend, possessed the ‘friends’ half of the heart. Someone at the lunch table questioned her “Oh! I LOVE your necklace, who has the other half?” to which she responded “Megan,” the other friend who possessed it, leaving my name out. Don’t you love that burning sensation of betrayal that overwhelms your body, that controls your mind? It sucks, so very much, and that’s all I could think as I sat at this table wanting to scream from the top of my lungs that I still existed; and I was only eleven.
From that moment on, I swore that it would never happen to me again- betrayal, that is- and it hasn’t. I’ve gained and lost friends, but in the process never losing secrets, never losing my best friend who knew my entire life story. It’s funny to thin that you have a life story at the age of 11, but that person saw you grow up and new each of your phases, your favorite colors, your pets, where you stored the cups in your house; something like that is irreplaceable, and suddenly, with a wave of the importance of popularity, she was gone. My friendship was gone.
Since then I’ve only recently started to share secrets with my closest friends, since then I’ve only truly had one best friend (Jess) who knows everything about me, who I can tell anything to and I trust her with my life, my secrets, not so much my facebook.
I had started to build my trust in people back up, that is until it crashed down, until it was once again broken. (see below link below to find out why)