Earlier in the week, I posted an article entitled “I Do Not Wish to be a Slut” which lead me to thinking about a rather disturbing conversation I had last night with a former friend of mine. In our society, there is a distinct “slut shaming” culture dominating popular America, and while, in the past, I used to agree with the arguments, I’ve grown rather distant from that opinion, for as I’ve grown I’ve come to see that it makes absolutely no sense.
I don’t believe in the right to impose one’s own wills, desires, wants, or beliefs onto other people. Doing such only promotes a society of discrimination, misunderstanding, and lack of clarity, a society where people refuse to listen to one another and refuse to grow as individuals. This also applies to the concept of human sexuality, explicitly in older teenagers.
While it is worth noting that in the past, open sexuality was discriminated against to an even greater extent (see the Scarlet Letter), I don’t believe that has any impact on my argument. I’m debating how things should be, not how things were, and arguing that it was worse does not inherently mean that things can’t be better. And in general, we live in a society where sexuality is frowned upon, where a girl who has had multiple partners is discouragingly called a slut, a whore, easy etc.etc. I don’t understand why these have negative connotations. While some people may believe in abstinence, may believe that sex is only to be done between two people who care deeply for each other (I’m a proponent of this for myself), they still do not have the right to ridicule people for actions that aren’t harmful to them.
Last night, I got into an argument with a former friend who accused me of being a slut for giving a handjob to a guy at camp. This follows back to the article that I wrote on not wanting to be a slut (no negative connotation implied). First of all, it was a one time affair, and second of all, my reasons for it are sound. At the time that this happened, I was in an incredibly volatile state, in which I cared for no one including myself, and Will made me feel wanted, at least in some way. He made me feel like a mattered for something, even if he was just using me. To be honest, I was using him, using him as a crutch to inch myself out of the hole I was buried in. But does this action merit calling me a slut? And even if it does, why should that be a bad thing? It is my body and I have the right to do anything with it (within legality) that I want.
People like him are the reason why some girls commit suicide, why some girls cut, why some girls feel like they are worthless, all because of rumors, all because of an exaggeration of fact, all because of this stupid, negative connotation. And that is where the true problem lies. In society, and in those who perpetuate the problem.
The Inexplicable 